The Cost of Motherhood: What's Our Worth
Many couples allocate more resources to planning a single-day celebration—their wedding—than adequately preparing for the critical period that follows the birth of their child: the fourth trimester. It's not their fault though, they don't know what they don't know, and neither did I!
Society has taught mothers what we're worth and it's time we challenge the status quo.
As a mother who has experienced "easy" 4th trimesters and been through some "hard" postpartum struggles, and as a postpartum care provider, I am here to tell you the 4th trimester is one of the most impactful things you will ever experience in your life as a parent. It has the power to change the way you view the entire world, yourself, and your partner. I'd say early motherhood is pretty darn important. In this blog post, we'll explore why preparing for the fourth trimester is far more important or at least equally worth the investment of a lavish wedding.
Motherhood: Understanding the Fourth Trimester
Traditionally, pregnancy is divided into three trimesters, each lasting approximately three months. However, the concept of the "fourth trimester" refers to a period of time post-birth, during which both parents and newborns undergo significant adjustments. This period is marked by sleepless nights, hormonal fluctuations, relationship challenges, internal struggles, judgment, and the steep learning curve that accompanies caring for a newborn.
The Cultural Emphasis on Weddings
In many cultures, weddings are revered as monumental events, symbolizing the union of two individuals and their families. Consequently, a considerable amount of time, energy, and financial resources are poured into creating the perfect ceremony. However, the societal emphasis on weddings often overshadows the importance of adequately preparing for the challenges and joys of motherhood. Hindsight is 20/20, my friends.
Overestimate and Underestimated
How often do we hear stories of couples who spend a small fortune on the investment of their wedding? How often do you hear couples investing in the period of time after they give birth? Unfortunately, people often overestimate the amount of gear, clothing, and general crap babies need and sorely underestimate how much support, care, and planning the postpartum period requires.
Investing in Your Family
While planning a wedding often involves hiring wedding planners, attending bridal expos, and sampling catering options, investing time and money in educating and preparing oneself for motherhood, personally, I think is more crucial. Understanding the physical and emotional changes that both parents will undergo, as well as acquiring essential parenting skills, can significantly contribute to a smoother transition into motherhood.
Emotional Preparedness
While the emotional aspects of preparing for a wedding are centered around the joyous union of two individuals, the emotional preparedness required for motherhood involves a deeper understanding of the challenges a new baby brings. Communication, support systems, coping strategies, and postpartum and infant care support become vital tools for navigating this new territory and the overall adjustment to life with a newborn.
The Role of Support Systems in Motherhood
Support systems play a pivotal role during the fourth trimester, yet they are often overlooked in the grandeur of wedding preparations. Friends, family, and community resources such as The Jacksonville Baby Company become lifelines for new parents. Redirecting efforts towards building a strong support network can offer invaluable assistance and emotional stability during the initial months of motherhood.
Health and Wellness
While couples may be counseled or attend marriage classes and focus on getting in shape or staying in shape for their wedding day, the health and wellness of both partners are equally if not more important during the fourth trimester. From birth and pelvic floor health to postpartum recovery, prioritizing physical, emotional, and mental health contributes to a positive parenting experience. Sleep is a major contributor to mental health.
Creating Lasting (Positive) Memories
It's undeniable that weddings create beautiful memories, often captured through photographs and videos. What if we put the same energy towards creating lasting memories during the fourth trimester? What if we allocated funds for at least 3-5 nights a week of overnight infant care and postpartum support so that as new parents you received encouragement, hands-on help, and got enough sleep to thrive, not just survive?
The Motherhood Experience
Many families are investing in experiences over things and what an experience having a baby is! Redirecting financial and emotional investments towards support in early motherhood can lead to a more informed, supported, and fulfilling start to the incredible journey of raising children. Ultimately, the confidence and memories created during the fourth trimester and the foundation built for a growing family are far more memorable than a boujee stroller or designer bassinet.
Are you ready to invest in your motherhood journey? Do you want to get sleep and have the best support by your side? Are you excited to feel confident in parenting? Let us know!
Authored by Elizabeth Luke
Elizabeth is the founder and CEO of The Jacksonville Baby Company. Elizabeth and her husband and best friend, Richard are parents to four children. With certifications in Postpartum and Infant Care Support, Childbirth and Newborn Care Education, Lactation Support, and Infant Sleep, Elizabeth is a wealth of knowledge and has a heart for helping parents live their best lives while also ensuring their children are safe, happy, and leading their healthiest lives possible! Contact us today to invest in your motherhood journey!