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Part 2: [Women] In Isolation

This blog is about women and the common thread we share! This is part 2, you can find part 2 here. The day came that a friend threw me a baby shower. It actually made the few weeks leading up to it fly by when time was otherwise standing still, or so it seemed. We ate, boy did we eat. We had cake, h'orderves, punch, fruit, cheese and cracker tray and the spread continued. I love food and I know some of you are foodies too so I can't skip over those details. We shared in some silly games. My friends and family pampered me and showered me with gifts, and engaged in deep and meaningful conversations. A couple ladies shared their birth stories, while others chimed in here and there adding something funny, amazing, or embarrassing that she experienced. It was great! One of my friends shared that she and her husband were struggling with infertility. She went into detail about the never ending rollercoaster the two of them had been on and the sadness she felt. She also shared about the extreme amount of guilt she carried with her. She was clearly dealing with a lot and had only shared these feelings with her husband who just didn't understand. She was clearly living in isolation herself. Another friend miscarried only days after I found out we were expecting, I had no idea. She was suffering in silence too, expressing that she was jealous that I was having a baby and her co worker wouldn't shut up about her pregnancy. She said that while she knew what she felt towards me and her co-worker was only because of her own loss, she didn't know what else to do expect ignore my calls and avoid me, especially since she had to deal with her co-worker on a day to day basis. At this point I see she had chosen to silence and isolation to avoid hurting me. Neither friend wanted to steal our sunshine or evoke sadness on me at a time that was suppose to be so wonderful. My friends, in the midst of dealing with some of the hardest moments, feelings and emotions in their lives were thinking of me. All the while I thought of them as having abandoned me, I felt I was in isolation. That baby shower was a more than a celebration of a baby's life, it was a celebration of all life,those here, those lost, and those yet to come. A celebration of women and the common thread many of us share. It was a life changing moment for me as a woman. I have since been told by my friend who miscarried that her opening up at the shower was healing for her. I realized that I was extremely blessed. I realized that sometimes things aren't always as they appear, perspective is everything. We as women, sadly we all shared the feeling of isolation, yet we were connected in spirit through our isolation. I try each day to look beyond my own circumstances and point of view. In doing this I have become more mindful and in the moment. I have allowed myself to be more compassionate to others, to dig deep and reach out, because sometimes when people treat you a certain way they may very well be in a place where they can't see past their own circumstances at that moment. Being alone doesn't have to mean you are in isolation, maybe it means you're taking the time you need, time to grieve, time to reflect, to settle into the present, to breathe and just be in the moment and to also know you are not alone!

postpartum help fernandina
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