If I had a dollar for every time I heard a parent or grandparent say, "I wish I had known...," I could probably put a decent-sized dent in solving the world hunger crisis. Okay, maybe that's a bit exaggerated, but you get the idea, I hear it so often!
Here's the Thing
Most parents do share their struggles, but many people don't hear them, they're listening, but I mean really truly hear them. It usually doesn't happen until they are in their shoes! You don't know what you don't know until you do.
What I Wish I Had Known
I wish I had known about breastfeeding aversion before my first was born. We made it to 10 months old exclusively breastfeeding, but if I knew this was a thing I would've believed I was a "good" mom.
After my last was born, I wish I had known that no matter how much you prepare sometimes breastfeeding doesn't work out and that perinatal or postpartum mood and anxiety disorders (P.M.A.D) affect at least 1 in 7 women and can affect 1 in 10 women beginning in pregnancy. Those numbers are of those who report it and don't suffer/struggle in silence.
One of the biggest regrets a lot of parents have is not knowing how to create a thorough postpartum plan.
A plan that covers it all! One that allows them time and space to rest and heal properly, get adequate amounts of restorative sleep, nourish their bodies, and have the energy to bond as much as they would like to with their babies before the newborn stage is just a memory. Parents who don't have proper support planned before they give birth and bring their baby home report that they often feel lost, overwhelmed, disconnected from their partners, and isolated. The fourth trimester is an extension of pregnancy. It's a time that requires the most planning and attention to detail. Prepare now! Don't find yourself saying, "I wish I had known."
Ever heard the saying, "Babies don't keep"?
I often tell parents, that the crib can wait and the basic, non-wi-fi monitor works just as well and has benefits over the wi-fi enable monitor. Instead, add gift certificates for postpartum support to your gift list! Do you remember the cute way people began asking guests to bring a book in lieu of a card to the baby shower to start the baby's library? Here's an idea "In lieu of things, we would love and benefit as a family from a gift certificate for overnight postpartum support to jumpstart healing and bonding." Attach contact information for the company you which to book with so they know how to purchase the gift certificate and you're golden. Another way to prepare is to host a postpartum planning party instead of a baby shower
When you’re expecting, there’s a lot of excitement surrounding the baby!
But what about you, the parents? Babies don't need much to start with. I'm serious! A baby' needs are fairly basic; diapering, feeding, bassinet, clothes, and the loving arms of their parents. Babies won't remember a plethora of cute clothes, expensive cribs, hi-tech devices, or fancy decor. Nor will they remember the sleep deprivation, latch issues leading to fussiness at the breast that causes so many tears (parents and baby), gas or reflux, and the short tempers parents have with one another due to lack of sleep. But you sure will!
With each baby, parents learn something new about the fourth trimester.
For example, after your first is born you may be surprised that no one told you about active sleep or how noisy newborns are when they sleep.
With your second baby, you may surprised to learn that all newborns don't start sleeping through the night at 2 months old! That it could take 6, 9, or even 12 months or longer with multiple wakings each night.
Or, after your third you learn that some newborns (yours) need to nurse every 1.5-2 hours even through the night, not 2.5-3 hours like you've always heard.
One thing parents often learn after having a baby is that many of the people that they thought would be there to help them, simply aren't there.
I hear parents say “I wish I had someone show me that when I had my babies!” all the time and it hurts my heart!
You deserve to feel supported, prepared, nourished, and well-rested through the fourth-trimester transition.
If you've made it this far and want to create a thorough postpartum plan with experts to guide you, contact us, we offer consults for this very thing! If you're in Jacksonville, Florida, or the surrounding areas and are preparing to have a baby, our support is perfect for you if:
You’re a first-time parent with no idea what to expect in the fourth trimester
You have a toddler or older children and want this experience to be different
You are a planner and want to have systems and experts in the field of postpartum and newborn care in place so you can rest, heal properly, and bond with your newborn
Instead of saying, "I wish I had known", find those who know and can share their wisdom and hands-on help when it's relevant to the unique journey you're on!
Authored by Elizabeth Luke
Elizabeth is the founder and CEO of The Jacksonville Baby Company. With certifications in Postpartum and Infant Care Support, Childbirth and Newborn Care Education, Lactation Support, and Infant Sleep, Elizabeth is a wealth of knowledge and has a heart for helping parents live their best lives while also ensuring their children are safe, happy, and leading the healthiest lives possible! Contact us today for day, night, and live-in support!