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Things I Wish I Had Known Before Having Kids

Updated: 7 days ago

toddler looks up at her mother with a questioning look on her face

Things I Wish I Had Known Before Having Kids

I can't tell you how many times over the last two decades that I’ve spent raising children and in my career I’ve thought and heard: there are some things I wish I had known before having kids. It's more than I ever thought I would.

I agree that with experience comes at least some knowledge and insight. A mechanic knows vehicles and a doctor knows the ins and outs of medicine! As a seasoned parent, postpartum doula, and caregiver I'm often asked about my experience: what I would do in a specific situation and if I have any advice for others. So, I've compiled a list of things I wish I had known before I had kids to share with all of you and they aren't about breastfeeding or bottlefeeding, spanking, spoiling, or sleep training.

These are things all parents and families can benefit from!

It's Imperative That You Prioritize Yourself

Don't underestimate what me time can do for your entire family! Sure, in the beginning it's tough. The first few weeks is about survival. But after you begin getting back into the swing of things at your own pace, making time for you is imperative! Parents make sacrifices all the time for their kids and each other, but you don't have to sacrifice all the time. You don't have to have an answer for everything or extra set of arms to get it all done, although you give it a good go! We're simply not designed to multitask and be great at all things. So while balancing, juggling, and living life, do not forget to take care of you! Teach your children to love themselves and take time for self-care! A healthy mind, body, and spirit benefits everyone!

Your children are modeling for you what unconditional love is!

It's true, let's face it! Your finicky three-year-old doesn't care if you feed them organic or fast food, they will just pick and poke anyway. Said toddlers also give no cares if you leave the house to get the darn french fries without your bra or wearing two different shoes by mistake, they just want the fry fries and love you for getting them. Your little monkey will happily climb you like a tree to breastfeed while you’re squeezing in a 5-minute poop break or share the last few licks of their slobbery lollipop with you! Our children happily love us just the same! We can learn a lot from our tiny humans. They expect nothing, they have no ideas about how it "should" be, what is "best", and they simply love and adore us!

You can say no without apology or reason!

Not only can you say no because you can't do something, but you can also say no when you don't want to. You don't have to come up with an excuse and you don't have to have a reason. Your friend wants to drop by this evening on the way home to go through swatches for her new sofa and paint colors for her living room. You've had a long work week and you're feeling tapped out. You just wanted to sit around in your nickers have a glass of wine and watch an episode on Netflix. It's ok to just say no. You don't have to say why or apologize. You don't have to feel or be sorry, you can just say no, it's healthy to say no (and yes for that matter) sometimes. Remember, it's okay to prioritize you! This means strangers, friends, and even family. It's hard sometimes, but it's healthy. This leaves more time and emotional and physical energy to say yes when you want to! Hint: The more you practice saying no the easier it gets, the better it feels!

It's normal and healthy to make mistakes.

As a mom with three adult children and one who is ten years behind her siblings, I often reflect on our journey as a family. I also think back on the choices we made as parents. Boy have we made some mistakes along the way. You will too! We've laughed, cried, yelled, and fallen upon silence. You will too... and it's okay! It's more than ok, it's completely "normal". Mistakes mean that we're human, mistakes let our children see we are not perfect and that is good! Before you know it, believe it or not, they will be flying the nest! Acknowledging our own mistakes, apologizing, and working to learn from our mistakes will help our children not only understand that mistakes are okay but it also models for them healthy life lessons and strategies they will take with them.

There are a few more things I wish I knew before having kids, but there's something so freeing about not knowing all things and just winging it!

I hope you find these things helpful. What things do you wish you knew before having kids? We'd love to hear from you in the comments!

lady wearing a rust colored dress and glasses swings in a hammock swing on the porch, she is smiling

Authored by Elizabeth Luke

Elizabeth is the founder and CEO of The Jacksonville Baby Company. Elizabeth and her husband and best friend, Richard are parents to four children. With certifications in Postpartum and Infant Care Support, Childbirth and Newborn Care Education, Lactation Support, and Infant Sleep, Elizabeth is a wealth of knowledge and has a heart for helping parents live their best lives while also ensuring their children are safe, happy, and leading their healthiest lives possible! Contact us today for day, night, and live-in support! 


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