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Home for the Holidays


home for the holidays jacksonville doula

Home for the Holidays

tHome for the holidays can take on a different meaning after you have kids! Holidays with kids are so different than celebrating as a single person or as a married couple without children. The things we use to doing during the holidays change a bit after we have kids of our own. At least in some way they do.

Many people go home for the holidays, whether it's next door or cross country. Year after year you do this because it's what you've always done, and you've come to look forward to it; it's what the holidays are to you. Perhaps it's become a tradition and you want to continue to feel the sense of family.

After you have a baby though you start to look at life through a new lens, it's true!

Once your baby is here in your arms, your house begins to feel even more like your home, you and your baby are a family. There are times that the longing to "go home" for the holidays sometimes doesn't seem as urgent. Many parents tend to feel like doing things at their own home a little more, whether it be because they dread traveling with kids, the of ease and convenience of being home, wanting to sleep in or play it by ear, or because they just want to start their own traditions at home with their children.

It's common to feel torn about this new chapter in life. You want to go "home" to be with your family or perhaps your in laws, but you also really want to do things at your home and not have to deal with the back and forth! It's common to feel this way and o.k. to express your feelings and be supported in your decisions this holiday season.

Do what feels right for your family. Don't force yourself into a situation that will leave you stressed out and uncomfortable. Doing something for others should be an act from the heart, not a burden or source of frustration. Make the most where ever you are, whoever you are with! There will never be another holiday exactly like this one, love, share, and just enjoy being together.

One of the greatest gifts anyone can give a new parent (first time or fifth) is to let them know they are doing a great job, and that their decision to come or stay is accepted by you.

Ways to ease the mind and fill the heart of a loved one who is traveling with kids this holiday season;

If they agree to join you at your home support them in their parenting decisions, do not judge or undermine them. These are their children, not yours.

Ask for their permission before you feed their baby, anything liquid or solids.

Offer to help them with making travel arrangements, meet them at the airport if that would be of help to them.

If someone in your own home is sick, be it a minor cold or full on stomach bug, please disclose that information before they come and let them make the call on whether or not they want to expose their family.

If they have a food allergy, be mindful of that. If you're not sure, just ask.

If they are breastfeeding their baby, let it be on their own terms, not yours, make them feel comfortable, not alienated.

Ways that you might ease the mind and fill the heart of a loved one who has decided to stay at home with their kids this holiday season;

Offer to bring the gathering to them, but be mindful if they do not want company.

Ask if there is a time you can come visit them at their home instead.

Mail a card and let them know you love them, are thinking of them, and hope you all can get together soon!

Send or hand deliver a gift the family can enjoy together. This could be a craft, a board game, or movie.

Gift the family a home cooked meal; be mindful of any food allergies.

Make and send a video to the family. Let each person at the holiday gathering say something meaningful or funny (in character) to the family!

With the holidays quickly approaching, a new little one in tow, or a bun in the oven you are likely counting your blessings and reflecting on years past. You may also be feeling a little anxious or overwhelmed, you don't have to!

Through pregnancy and your first year postpartum, let us serve you while you enjoy your family!

Happy Birth & Parenting,

Elizabeth

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